F1r57 P05T1!!

So this is the first real angsty post of the blog, I think. Given it has Sean and myself I'd say that's a bit of an accomplishment. Beat you to it you soon-to-be-fedora wearing Rather Nice man!

Pictured: Angst

Was talking to a good friend about the future last night/this morning and it got me thinking. The main worry was the potential of the future. So many possibilities, so many options, etc. Many roads to walk down, but in the end there can be only be one. Throw in any ideas about God having a plan for life and it just gets worse. With so many possibilities, how are you supposed to pick the right one? We screw up every day in most everything. Picking the right road among millions if not more just doesn't seem likely, to put it mildly.

As a result, it seems to be certain that what I WILL be in ten years will pale in comparison to what I could have been in those ten years. This is most likely true for any length of time, to be honest. I think people very rarely use each moment to its full potential (and if you do, congratulations, you are awesome, now go somewhere else) and this adds up with so many moments in a day.

Given this, I'm almost tempted to have ridiculously low standards for the future. I was talking with John on a car ride home and I opined that if I could look at myself in the mirror and smile in 10 years (as opposed to be dreaming about the good old days a la Centauri) I'd probably be doing pretty well.

On the other hand, I have five fingers. But seriously, I considered it a different way. The transition from homeschooling to private school was easy. The transition to grade school to high school was smooth. The transition from high school to college was barely noticeable. It's only when I come home that I notice how much I've changed. Through all that time I haven't lost my good humor (usually) and I don't waste my days away wishing for the good times of 2cd grade. With a few exceptions, I wish I had more time to fool around with legos. (memo to self: make legos with stephen tomorrow). So why should the transition from college to real life be any different? Why shouldn't I expect the years to just slip by blisfully and without any real jolts?

Well I suppose the only real crime in thinking about the future is to do it often, so I'll cut this short and end with some words of wisdom from JMS (referenced earlier already):

"The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us. And our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in that vast terrible in-between. But there is still time to seize that one last, fragile moment. To choose something better, to make a difference, as you say."


Night all.

~Thomas